I bet like many of us, you have a running list of “shoulds” in your head.

And when it comes to your wardrobe and clothing, maybe some of these ones sound familiar…

• I should tackle my closet once and for all.
• I should get dressed for the day even though I feel like staying in my yoga clothes.
• I should figure out why I can’t seem to get out the door without leaving the bed piled high with rejects.
• I should figure out what I’m doing with those suits I used to wear to work.
• I should be able to put a decent outfit together by now.
• I should get those shoe repairs done so I can wear them again.

(Feel free to substitute the word should with have to, need to, or ought to.)

Any way you say it though, it sounds like a stressor that’s ready to ruin your mood.

Don’t worry, I get it.

Things may not be the way you’d like them to be, but talking to yourself like you’re “less than” for not having it all together or comparing yourself to seemingly perfect images on Pinterest or Instagram is not going to help anything.

So, how do we get past it?

Well, the first step involves a little bit of reflection…

When you look underneath the should statement, do you see what the actual desire is?

Maybe it’s to have more ease, time for yourself, or pleasure?

Remove the should and focus on the desire.

For example…

• I’d like more order in my closet.
• I’d like a few well-put-together outfits.
• I’d like to wear these shoes again.
• I’d like to find someone who’d appreciate those suits I don’t use anymore.
• I’d like to feel great about how I look outside of yoga class.

Ahhh…

Doesn’t that feel so much better?

With the “shoulds” in your rear-view mirror, you can now move in the direction of satisfying your desires.

Here are some tips to get going…

1. Keep your expectations low so your successes have a chance of showing up.

2. Before you have a closet of put-together-outfits, you need to start with just 1 outfit.

Give yourself the gift of time and create one outfit using an item you love wearing.

One outfit equals success!

If this is the biggest issue you have with your wardrobe, keep your focus on this desire to have ready-to-go outfits and next week, create two outfits!

Do you see how this is going to add up?

3. If you have shoes or handbags that need repair, your first tiny step (shoe pun intended!) would be to put them in a bag or box and take them to your car. Easy peasy!

Now you’re already one step closer to being able to wear them again!

On another day, drop them off at your local shoe repair shop. In a week or so you’ll pick them up.

Before you know it, you’ll have them back in your closet and ready to wear. How amazing would that be?!

4. If much of your closet is devoted to clothes that don’t suit your lifestyle anymore, you need to remove them so you can focus on what you CAN be wearing RIGHT NOW.

But that can feel overwhelming right? And wasteful too.

Again, let’s reframe all of that and first decide where you’ll take clothes you don’t use.

How about a church, women’s shelter, or an organization that helps others get back into the workforce? That first decision is SO powerful and will create the momentum to bundle items up and take them to your car.

And thinking about the win-win this will mean (to you + the charity you’re helping out) will give you the energy to follow through.

Okay, so do you see how starting small can lead to big changes over time and how it also takes so much pressure off of you to “do it all, right now”?

Are there other desires on your list?

Maybe there are things that I can help you with. 🙂

Having an experienced professional at your side who is compassionate and understanding is one of the best ways to practice self-care.

So if you don’t want to do this alone, I’d love to be that someone for you!

I can help you realize your dreams of ease, time for yourself, and pleasure in getting dressed.

Message me and we can chat more about taking that first step together.

In the meantime, be gentle with yourself.